Day 17 - Love Promotes Intimacy

Today's Verse:

He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. – Proverbs 17:9 NIV
Today's Message:

It's about trust. It's about not being judgmental. It's about not telling everyone in the world about your spouses imperfections while trusting them to hide yours. It's about loving your spouse even though they aren't perfect. It's about realizing your imperfections haven't barred you from being loved. It's about feeling safe and warm. It's even deeper than what Robert DiNiro referred to in 'Meet The Parents' as 'that circle of trust'. It's just between the two of you.

I realize when I go over this lesson how many times I have broken that trust. I don't think I did it viciously, but it's impossible to tell how she may have taken it. It could have been the simplest thing. It may have been telling someone about the dinner she made last night. It could be about the way she drives. It could be anything that causes distrust in your spouse.

Don't do it. If you've done it, then apologize and ask for forgiveness. If you're not sure that you've done it… then apologize and ask for forgiveness.
Today's Questions:

  • Have you ever done anything that would cause your spouse to distrust you?
Today's Dare:

Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.
Results:

  • How much of an effort is it for you to hold back from saying something, critical or otherwise ?
    • It's not that easy for me, but it is getting easier. Just by paying attention to the things in this Dare has made me more considerate of the things that I might blurt out about her (and others). It may not always appear to work on the OUTSIDE.. .but on the INSIDE…it is churning away.
  • What have you learned about your spouse today, simply from listening?
    • That she is working on ways to help me….even when I don't know about it. The things that she mentioned today were eye openers. I'm going to keep listening.
I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3)
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