Day 5 - Love is Not Rude


Today's Verse:

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. —Proverbs 27:14
Today's Message:

This is about your spouse needs, not yours… so don't take it personal. You're going to have to ask your spouse to answer some questions about how they feel about you. HOWEVER…the issues that this uncover have to do with your actions, not you as a total package. If you are a person that farts under the covers…. Is that YOU?.. Or is that an ACTION that you executed? There's a difference. Today's stuff is all about finding out about those actions, seperating yourself from them, and thinking about how to either enhance, correct, or drop those actions.

I'm thinking I'm going to find out things like "You don't let me finish my stories when we are in a group." or "You leave your clothes on the floor in the closet…rather than in the hamper." That's what I 'think' I'll hear. But, whatever it is… I can't take it personal.
Today's Questions:

• How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
• How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem?
• Would your husband or wife say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?
Today's Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
Results:

  • What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention?
    • I need to spend more time with the kids
    • I don't need to work for free.
    • I get in a 'mode' sometimes.
  • How did you handle hearing it?
    • I was surprised by the answers. I was prepared to not take it personally, and that was a good thing. It went well…and I heard what she was saying.
  • What do you plan to do to improve these areas?
    • All of these are related (at least in my mind). The only way to really spend more time with the kids is to make more money. I get in a 'mode' because I'm trying to do that. However, because I don't communicate the 'big' picture… the concept is that I'm doing it all for the wrong reasons.
    • I need to make sure that I keep billable hours. I need to make sure that those hours are paid, or I don't do any more work for them. If they don't like it, that's just too bad. I'd rather spend an hour with one of my family members with ZERO money…than I would spend it working for an unappreciative client for the same amount. I would enjoy being with the family member and the long term benefits are better.
T

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