Day 13 - Love Fights Fair

Today's Verse:

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. – Mark 3:25
Today's Message: Is about agreeing BEFORE IT HAPPENS on the ground rules of any disagreements that you may have. The examples given had to do with 'not going to bed angry', or 'never mention divorce' and 'don't bring up things in the past'. All of these are good ground rules, but they may not be the ones that you (as a couple) will need. Yours can be 'don't talk about how often he goes golfing' or 'how many pairs of shoes does she need'. And that's IF you can get your spouse to agree to them.

If you can't…then make up your own. You probably need to do this anyway. That way when (not IF) it happens, at least YOU will know that you are keeping within the boundaries of what you consider a fair way of settling disagreements. Just remember… to REMEMBER them when it happens.
Today's Questions:

  • When you are in a disagreement with your spouse, do you fight fairly?
  • Do you bring up the past, or do you focus on what today's disagreement is about?
Today's Dare:

Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Results:

  • If your spouse participated with you , what was their response?
    • We don't really argue a whole bunch. Both of us agreed on that. However, we did come up with some rules… see below.
  • What rules did you write for your self?
    • I have to learn how to not be so 'flame mouthed' as she calls it. When I get angry…really really angry… I dispense language that is not very nice. REALLY not very nice. I have to curb that.
    • She has to learn how to just 'drop it'. Rather than walking around for an hour and coming back to say 'and another thing'. She needs to make sure that it really IS 'another' thing, and not just the 'same old thing' using different words.
    • I also have to learn how to not be so 'obnoxious' during those times. I'm the kind of person that will say 'I know what you are, but what am I.' during those times.
 Be of the same mind toward one another. (Romans 12:16)

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